well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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