I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Randomize
