He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
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