the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
