We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Randomize
