i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
