The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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