youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
