More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
