So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
