Tell me why I go to the dollar store for nail polish remover and a ghetto black dude trys to hit on me in the parking lot, then he gets in line behind me with a dousche bag literally and that is his only purchase.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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