Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
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