brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
