Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Randomize
