We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
