ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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