wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I would never blame a unicorn for anything.....how dare you
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
