check it out our google latitudes are spooning
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
