dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
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