I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
