The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
