I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize