You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
