As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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