Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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