Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
