he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize