oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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