Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Sext me about skeletons
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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