you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
Randomize
