i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Police were closing down the bar due to gunfight and I was crying because they wouldn't let me finish putting temporary shamrock tats on my boobs
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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