I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
i just google imaged poop.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Hey had an urgent voicemail from the Illinois national guard....have you been using my identity for your blackout weekend?
Yes and yes
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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