I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
Randomize
