whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
