my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Also I like oatmeal more than sex.
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