I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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