You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Randomize
