I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
