I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
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