This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
vagina is talking i cant
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
I feel like death gave me a hand job
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
