I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
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