dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
