They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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