Swine flu. Run for my life!
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Michael Bay diarrhea
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
