My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
its not stalking. its research.
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
