Having a random hookup so left but love u
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
