y did u give ur computer a hand job?
operation harelip BJ is a go
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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