Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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