i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
It's 2pm, and I just had to pass a guy in the turning lane because he was driving down Main Street in an electric wheelchair pulling a flatbed trailer with 2 of his buddies in it and they were all drunk holding beers.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
