Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
My brain says no but my pants say off.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
Randomize
