I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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