he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
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