Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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