her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize