you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
This is not my ceiling
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
