You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
