is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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