thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
