BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize