He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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