P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
