Rock
Scissors
Fuck
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
