my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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