How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
So the dog chewed my vibrator last night. It added a nice new texture actually.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize