I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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