Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
