so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Found the puke drawer
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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