Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Randomize
