Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
